Sunday May 7th @ 12:30 pm Alexandra was baptised in the Catholic Church.
All my siblings arrived, with their spouses and children present and my father. My other halves siblings (with their spouses), parents and grandparents were present. The shocking part about all of that… is my father. And surprisingly, my spouse’s family was more behaved than my own… which was hugely disappointing.
First, let me explain the shocking part. My father hasn’t been very much involved since he became remarried. Unfortunately, the new wife is a barrier between my father and his children, but not for the reasons they lead people to believe. I’m not 100% even sure they understand why we don’t like her. However, that is for a different post at a different time. Since her arrival into my fathers life, he hasn’t been able to visit as much as he use to, and we feel awkward travelling to see him because she makes us uncomfortable. She claims we make her uncomfortable when they visit, hence why they rarely come, and when they do come, they leave within a few hours. Now, if the reason was because of event ending or because of traffic or other engagements occurring, and it was rarely an issue, I wouldn’t complain. However, EVERY TIME they come (again, they don’t visit often) she sits in a corner and continues to ask how much longer until they leave – like a teenager – which makes us all frustrated. She doesn’t see us as their children, or even HIS children. We are LAST to be considered for holidays – despite us having the grandchildren (her kids don’t have children). It’s upsetting.
Anyways, back to the baptism. He came. Without her. Which a lot of people saw as a big step, but I saw my dad take three big steps on Sunday, and I am beyond happy.
Step 1: He came – without her. She had some excuse – not fully sure as the story changed three different times. But he still came.
Step 2: He bought Alexandra a Cross necklace- Which means a LOT to me. His dad, My Grandfather, bought my cross. So the fact he bought hers, it took everything in me not to cry.
Step 3: He was early, and stayed as long as he could. He was 15 minutes early to the church, and spent one on one time with my oldest before the baptism. He also came back to our house afterwards for the luncheon we hosted to thank everyone for coming, and stayed the longest so he could spend time with us all. No arguing. No bickering. Just good family talking.
I don’t think he understands how much I appreciated him being there, and then the added visit time on top of that. I do not believe we would have had that time if the wife would have came with him. Which is truly a shame. Because I do believe over time, if she put in a little more effort and a little less discomfort, we would accept her more. Its the fact she doesn’t and has never really tried to get to know us, yet expects us just to accept her. I’m glad she makes my father happy, I just don’t appreciate the distance she has caused for us.
Now, for the rest of the baptism. It wouldn’t be a family function without a little bit of drama. My family issues: My judgemental, older sister was very critical of my oldest sister-in-laws photography. We had asked my sister-in-law to be the designated photographer because she hasn’t played much role in Alexandra’s life. I understand photography is something she enjoys doing, and I want it to be something I can say later on to Alexandra that it was something special her aunt did just for her. She captured those special memories for us to forever hold on to. That is important to me.
My immature younger sister, to whom allowed my niece to run around a church in a very disrespectful manner. There is playing and being entertained, then there is being outright disrespectful and not caring about your child’s behaviour. You do not allow any child, of any age, to run across pews or across the alter. You do not allow her to play with the settings on the alter, and you certainly do not just stand there and laugh when she is screaming top lung in a church! My other nieces were very well behaved, and they are younger!
My sister in law, who we made Godmother. Now, this decision changed several times within the last 6 months after the decision was originally made, due to my sister in laws behaviour is worrisome. She has some issues of her own that worry me, she has anger outbreaks (that never last long, but by no means are anything I ever want my children to learn as an acceptable behaviour), she has moments of disrespect to her parents, and she doesn’t exactly have her shit together… to say the least. However, despite that, she isn’t a danger to my children, she will always support them, love them, spoil them, and help them through there life situations – if they were ever to ask that of her. She has a kind heart, she’s loyal and she always helps others (even when going through a rough time of her own). She’s a role model I want present in my daughters lives. She does try her hardest to limit her anger when the children are present, just sometimes she isn’t successful and her disrespect on her parents is shown. It’s something we will never change about her, and that’s okay. As long as we learn a way to explain her behaviour to our children to make them understand the reasons behind her out lashes and how it is not acceptable by anyone.
Now, despite small little dramatic moments, overall the day went very well. Great Grandparents were present. Grandparents were present. Aunts, uncles, cousins… Overall, everyone came together, put aside their differences and showed love and passion for my beautiful little girls special day. And I couldn’t be anymore thrilled and excited about the day. It is one day with only a few fingers of drama, that is important to my family, that we can all remember to be good to remember!
My little family of four couldn’t be any more blessed than we are right now. I hope all in the world can feel the cloud 9 happiness I’m on now!